The Horse's Head

#65) Ben-Hur: A Tale of the Christ (1925)

OR “I Got a Friend in Jesus”

Directed by Fred Niblo (and a whole bunch of uncredited directors)

Written by June Mathis and Carey Wilson. Based on the novel by General Lew Wallace

Class of 1997

The Plot: Set in the same time period/location as Jesus, Judah Ben-Hur (Ramón Novarro) is a Jewish prince falsely accused of murder by Roman soldier/childhood friend Messala (Francis X. Bushman). Judah is forced into slavery and separated from his mother and sister (Claire McDowell & Kathleen Key). After encountering young Jesus (Claude Payton), Judah’s faith gets him through his imprisonment and eventually into a chariot race against Messala. With a cast of thousands!

Why It Matters: The NFR points out the film’s spectacular chariot race and Technicolor sequences, and mentions that this is the film that put Hollywood studio MGM on the map. An essay by silent film expert Fritzi Kramer goes into detail about just how epic this whole thing was in its day.

But Does It Really?: Absolutely. This is one of those fabled Hollywood epics that needs to be on the Registry to accurately tell the story of American film. It’s still quite an impressive feat of filmmaking to watch over 90 years later.

Everybody Gets One: Ramón Novarro was a matinée idol and “Latin Lover” in the vein of Rudolph Valentino. He is unfortunately one of those Hollywood stars whose untimely murder has eclipsed his actual film achievements. Francis X. Bushman* was also a leading man of the silent era, but his career ended when he lost his fortune in the 1929 Stock Market Crash. He managed to reemerge in the ‘50s and ‘60s as an older character actor. I remember him best from “The Phantom Planet”. And special mention to Claude Payton as Jesus. Those are some of the best hands in the business.

Wow, That’s Dated: I’m just going to assume that no one in this film is actually Jewish or Italian or Middle-Eastern.

Other notes

• I have to say that the novel/film’s subtitle is misleading. I would argue it’s more of “A Tale in Which the Christ Shows Up Sometimes”.
• Author Lew Wallace was an actual General; he served in the Union Army during the Civil War. He began writing stories as a distraction while he was supposed to be studying law with his father.
• That’s Betty Bronson from the silent “Peter Pan” as Mary. The Mother of Christ is The Boy Who Wouldn’t Grow Up.
• Cool, parts of this film are in early Technicolor! Does that mean they’re in Oz?
• Judah and Esther’s meet-cute involves a diseased pigeon. Great.
• Gratus is the Archduke Ferdinand of this story.
• As a reward for sitting through a 2 ½ hour silent film, “Ben-Hur” contains occasional pre-Code nudity.
• The galley attack is pretty amazing to watch. Blink and you’ll miss an extra get impaled with a spear!

• Jesus is photographed in this film exactly like The Onceler.
• Antioch is described as “colorful”, yet isn’t in Technicolor. What gives?
• “By the three-horned goat of Ranor” is my favorite intertitle. The internet has yet to tell me what the hell that means.
• Iras has a sort-of Mae West thing going on. Mae East?
• Judah competes in the chariot race as “The Unknown Jew”. Does that mean he has to wear a paper bag over his head and appear on “The Gong Show”?
• What can I say? That chariot race is still exciting to watch. But don’t think I didn’t notice the occasional under cranking going on.

• If the stories are true, the extras in the chariot race include current and future MGM stars. Among them; Joan Crawford, Mary Pickford, Harold Lloyd, John & Lionel Barrymore, Dorothy & Lillian Gish, and Marion Davies.
• Hey, down in front, guy sitting on the other side of the Last Supper!
• The people of Ancient Jerusalem should not think they’re better than lepers. I don’t see any of them with indoor plumbing or any basic hygiene skills.
• I guess Judah Ben-Hur was the first Born-Again Christian. Can you convert to a religion that hasn’t yet established itself?

Legacy

• The novel has been adapted into film many times over the years, most notably the 1959 remake by this film’s assistant director; William Wyler. It’s longer and even more epic, and went on to win all the Oscars and find its own place on the NFR.

• The most recent screen version of Ben-Hur came in 2016 and I guess makes Judah and Messala brothers? By all accounts it’s terrible.

• Messala survived the chariot race, and gave us this delicious chicken and curry dish.

* CORRECTION: Francis X. Bushman also has a brief uncredited appearance in “The Bad and the Beautiful“.

#64) MASH (1970)

OR “How Do You Solve a Problem Like Korea?”

Directed by Robert Altman

Written by Ring Lardner, Jr. Based on the novel “MASH: A Novel About Three Army Doctors” by Richard Hooker.

Class of 1996

The Plot: Set in a Mobile Army Surgical Hospital (there’s your trivia answer) during the Korean War, “MASH” chronicles the episodic misadventures of surgeons “Hawkeye” Pierce (Donald Sutherland), “Trapper John” McIntyre (Elliott Gould) and “Duke” Forrest (Tom Skerritt). They drink martinis, hit on every nurse in sight, and cause trouble for the higher brass, most notably Major Burns (Robert Duvall) and Major Margaret Houlihan (Sally Kellerman), who gets more than her share of abuse from the unit.

Why It Matters: The NFR applauds the film’s “black comedy” and “gritty presentation” and praises Altman, Lardner and a “[s]pirited ensemble”.

But Does It Really?: Perhaps my appreciation for the TV series gave me a disadvantage, because the film is…okay. I laughed a lot, but the film’s anti-war stance seems a bit tame. Whether that’s my familiarity with the show or today’s more common acceptance of anti-war sentiments, I don’t know. I place “MASH” slightly more on the culturally significant side of this list. I’ll be curious to see if the film continues to hold up compared to the TV series.

Shout Outs: Henry Blake briefly mentions “Knute Rockne” during the football game.

Everybody Gets One: Gary “Radar” Burghoff was the only cast member to reprise his role for the TV series.

Wow, That’s Dated: While Altman intentionally made very little effort to make this film an authentic period piece, Elliot Gould’s moustache screams 1970.

Take a Shot: As is often the case with movies where the title is a location, they say, “MASH” consistently but not frequently.

Seriously, Oscars?: “MASH” scored five nominations, including Best Picture. At the time, Oscars were still handed out by Old Hollywood, so they favored the more traditional pro-war “Patton”. The Academy did, however, give Best Adapted Screenplay to “MASH” and its Old Hollywood screenwriter, Ring Lardner, Jr., even though very little of his dialogue ended up in the final cut. Robert Altman lost the first of his five Best Director nominations. And how “Suicide is Painless” didn’t get an Original Song nomination is just unacceptable.

Other notes

• First of all, I have to say that I do love that poster. That one image somehow tells you everything you need to know about the film.
• The title “MASH” is presented without the asterisks during the opening credits, but the poster and TV series include them. I don’t know who to trust anymore.
• Boy these credits are making a lot of introductions. What a host.
• Ah yes, Sutherland’s whistle thing that he sneaks in. I knew “Fantastic Mr. Fox” got it from somewhere.
• With this film we are introduced to Robert Altman’s bold idea that you actually don’t need to hear or understand any dialogue.
• I forgot how much rampant sexual harassment happens in this film. I’m supposed to like these guys, right?
• Shout-out to The Bickersons.
• Best line in the film; “If I nail Hot Lips and punch Hawkeye can I go home?”
• The song “Suicide is Painless” was written by Robert Altman’s 14-year-old son Mike. It became the TV series’ theme song as well, and Mike made more money off the song than his dad did from the film.

• Sometimes Margaret’s last name is given as “Houlihan” and other times as “O’Houlihan”. All evidence I can find shows that it’s always been “Houlihan” and that the few instances of “O’Houlihan” are slip-ups by the actors kept in the film.
• The film’s claim to be the first major film to say “fuck” has been contested. Further research is needed.
• That…is a weird ending. Although at least now I know how to pronounce “Auberjonois”.

Legacy

• As mentioned throughout this post, “MASH” the film became “M*A*S*H” the long-running, Emmy-magnet TV series. The NFR calls it “folksier” than its film counterpart, but that’s really only the first few seasons. It’s sanitized for broadcast, but “M*A*S*H” broke out of the film’s shadow and became the better known of the two. That being said, Altman hated the show.

• About halfway through the run of the TV series, a spin-off show called “Trapper John, M.D.” followed that character’s life in modern-day (1979) San Francisco. The producers of “M*A*S*H” sued for royalties, but the court declared the show a spin-off of the film rather than the series, hence its inclusion here.

• Based on the success of the film, Richard Hooker wrote two more novels: “M*A*S*H Goes to Maine” and “M*A*S*H Mania”. An attempt at turning “Maine” into a film never took off.
• And of course, this is the film that gave us Robert Altman, so I blame “MASH” for “Popeye”.

Further Viewing: “MASH” isn’t the first film about the Korean War’s mobile hospital units. 1953’s “Battle Circus” told a story of love and war with Humphrey Bogart as a Hawkeye-esque doctor and June Allyson as, let’s say a “Lukewarm Lips” kind of nurse. I haven’t seen it, but let’s just assume it’s a bit more pro-war than “MASH”.

Further Further Viewing: 1970’s other irreverent look at war, “Catch-22” had an all-star cast, a very hot Mike Nichols at the helm, and a best-selling novel as its source material. All signs pointed to “Catch-22” being the bigger hit film over “MASH”. That didn’t happen.

#63) Gerald McBoing-Boing (1950)

OR “The Boinging of a New Era”

Directed by Robert Cannon

Written by Bill Scott & Phil Eastman. Based on the story by Dr. Seuss.

Class of 1995

The Plot: In Dr. Seuss fashion, a story in rhyme

Of a boy who speaks sound effects all of the time.

I’m kidding. How much would you hate me if I did this whole post in verse?

Why It Matters: The NFR cites the film as a representation of UPA’s more cartoonish style of animation, versus Disney’s more realistic style.

But Does It Really?: UPA was a game-changer in the world of animation, and I’m glad there’s a place for them on the Registry. “Gerald McBoing-Boing” is harmless enough as far as shorts go. It tells a good story with inventive animation, which is really all you can ask for.

Everybody Gets One: Among the animators who worked on the film was Bill Melendez, who would go on to turn the “Peanuts” comic strip into a series of acclaimed animated TV specials.

Wow, That’s Dated: Doctors paying house calls, kids playing marbles, radio dramas.

Seriously, Oscars?: In one of the rare cases where Oscar actually embraced something new, “Gerald McBoing-Boing” won the Best Animated Short category against more traditional fare like “Tom & Jerry”. UPA would continue to have a strong showing in this category throughout the ‘50s, most notably in 1957 when all 3 nominees were from UPA!

Other notes

• Bill Scott, one of the writers, would go on to voice Bullwinkle in “Rocky & Bullwinkle”.
• UPA’s animated shorts were called Jolly Frolics? Were all their other names taken?
• So what do you think causes a boy to speak in sound effects? Is it a recessive gene that finally made its way through? Or is this yet another side effect from a generation that smoked and drank during pregnancy?
• I do have to update the NFR’s statement that UPA is “still in business today”. While that was true when “Gerald” first entered the Registry in 1995, the company closed for good in 2000. The current rights to the UPA library are owned by NBCUniversal, though UPA still holds the licensing rights to its most famous creation; Mr. Magoo.

Legacy

• Gerald had three animated follow-ups; “Gerald McBoing Boing’s Symphony”, “How Now Boing Boing” and “Gerald McBoing! Boing! on Planet Moo”. Notice that there is no consistency on his last name’s punctuation.

• Following these shorts, Gerald moved to television with “The Gerald McBoing-Boing Show”, which was revamped in the mid 2000’s.

• And I’m gonna go ahead and blame Gerald for Michael Winslow in those “Police Academy” films.

Further Viewing: If you’re looking for another Dr. Seuss film adaptation that’s not based on his classic books, might I recommend the incredibly bizarre “The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T.” It’s…weird, it’s just weird.

 

#62) Hell’s Hinges (1916)

OR “Are You There God? It’s Me, a Cowboy.”

Directed by Charles Swickard (with uncredited assistance from William S. Hart and Clifford Smith).

Written by C. Gardner Sullivan

Class of 1994

If the link below stops working, you can view the film online at the National Film Preservation Foundation.

The Plot: The lawless western town of Placer Center, aka Hell’s Hinges (take a shot), is turned on its head when an inept Reverend (Jack Standing) and his aptly devout sister Faith (Clara Williams) come to town. They are bullied by the saloon owner Silk Miller (Alfred Hollingsworth), but surprisingly welcomed by ambiguous anti-hero Blaze Tracy (William S. Hart). When Blaze falls for Faith and turns to the good book, the town’s ban on law and religion is thrown into turmoil.

Why It Matters: The NFR praises Hart and Williams as well as the cinematography of Joseph August. An essay by film historian David Menefee reminds us what a big deal William Hart was back in the day.

But Does It Really?: As a representation of William Hart, a forgotten legend of early cinema, I give it a pass. As a western, it’s okay. It’s entertaining, it tells a compelling –albeit slightly dated – story, and it doesn’t waste a lot of time. There are worse ways to spend an hour.

Everybody Gets One: Director Charles Swickard, actors Alfred Hollingsworth and Louise Glaum.

Wow, That’s Dated: In the cringe-inducing department, Miller is described as having “the oily craftiness of a Mexican”. Oof. Also, and this is not the film’s fault, a burning cross doesn’t just mean a burning cross anymore.

Take a Shot: Being the name of the town, Hell’s Hinges is referenced consistently throughout.

Other notes

• When the film was first released, Variety called it “corking”. We need to bring back corking as an adjective.
• Legend says that among the extras in this film are future matinée idol John Gilbert and actor Jean Hersholt, who I’m told was a heck of a humanitarian.
• The Petticoat Brigade is described as being “a drop of water in a barrel of rum”. I hate to break it to you, but that’s still rum. The drop does nothing.
• William Hart has the same smile as the Grinch when he gets a wonderful awful idea.
• Sorry Silk, but that goatee just isn’t evil-looking enough.
• Pretty impressive that Blaze falls for Faith even though SHE LITERALLY DOES NOTHING THE ENTIRE FILM.
• Nothing says “church sermon” like roadkill nailed to a wall.
• Where do “dance hall girls” go on their birthday? Computer school?
• I can’t tell if this is a bad print or if the editing is a little sloppy.
• Can’t this town do anything independently? Must they always clump together in a giant mob?
• Ladies and gentlemen, Arizona Frank.
• Some of these intertitles a bit too flowery. It’s a western, for crying out loud!
• Color tinting on film is a lost art.
• Oooh, Blaze said “damn”.
• So the moral of this film is “Find religion or Go to Hell!”

Legacy

• The band The Caledonia Mission wrote a song based on the film called “The Ballad of Blaze Tracy”. I can only find it on websites where you have to download it first. Google and listen at your own risk.

#61) The Godfather Part II (1974)

OR “The ‘Godfather 2’ of Sequels”

Directed by Francis Ford Coppola

Written by Coppola & Mario Puzo. Based on the novel “The Godfather” by Puzo.

Class of 1993

The Plot: Picking up where the first film left off, Michael (Al Pacino) is now the Don of the Corleone family and is struggling with his empire’s move to Nevada, a business partnership/possible betrayal from Florida mobster Hyman Roth (Lee Strasberg), an ongoing Senate committee on organized crime, and his deteriorating relationship with his wife Kay (Diane Keaton). Told in parallel is the story of his father Vito (Robert De Niro) as a young man emigrating from Italy to start a new life in America.

Why It Matters: The NFR calls the film one of the few sequels that is “as good or better than the original”. An essay by Michael Sragow is a tribute to both films.

But Does It Really?: Given the story structure it’s hard to separate this film from “The Godfather”. It expands on the story of the original in the right ways and gives more dimension to the characters, even if it means a lot more spinning plates to keep track of. The film as a whole is great, but by its nature a sequel can never be the breakthrough its predecessor was. It doesn’t help that a lot of this film is about maintaining a legacy, be it Michael with his father or Coppola with his films. Is “The Godfather Part II” better than the original? Not really. Is it a worthy successor that can stand alongside the first? Absolutely.

Shout Outs: Ummm…the first one?

Everybody Gets One: Perhaps the name most associated with “The Method”, Lee Strasberg ran the Actors Studio for 31 years and taught several generations of acclaimed actors. He had retired from acting to focus on teaching, but former pupil Al Pacino persuaded him to take the role of Hyman Roth after director and former Actors Studio member Elia Kazan turned it down. Strasberg finally relented and received an Academy Award nomination for his troubles. In addition, he was nominated for a Golden Globe for Most Promising Newcomer – at the age of 73.

Seriously, Oscars?: “The Godfather Part II” defied expectations and scored 11 Oscar nominations and six wins. Among the prizes claimed were Best Picture, Director for Coppola, Adapted Screenplay (even though very little of the film is based on the novel), Supporting Actor for De Niro, and Original Score (even though the first film’s score was deemed ineligible. I don’t know how these things work). Despite the sweep, Pacino once again went home empty-handed (They went sentimental and gave Best Actor to Art Carney for “Harry & Tonto”). The film’s wins were deserving, but meant there was no room for fellow NFR entries “Chinatown” and “The Conversation”.

Other notes

• Just to reiterate, the only part of this film based on the original novel is the Vito flashbacks, and that’s only one chapter. Everything involving Michael is unique to the film.
• I had a first communion and I didn’t get a reception with dancers or bocce ball or senators or Troy Donahue.
• The character of Frank Pentangeli was originally intended to be Pete Clemenza from the first film. When actor Richard Castellano asked for too much money and script demands, the character was killed off. And then they wrote it in that Clemenza didn’t tie things up with the Rosato brothers. I guess Coppola held a grudge.
• Speaking of Clemenza, he’s played in the flashbacks by a young Bruno Kirby. I will always remember him best as a short-tempered caricature of himself on “The Larry Sanders Show”. He left us much too soon.
• Damn, Pacino is good in this. Like you needed me to tell you that.
• Someone in this film actually says the phrase “mamma mia!”
• It’s a lot of fun watching De Niro doing his interpretation of Brando’s Vito. If the stories are true and Martin Scorsese plans on de-aging De Niro for scenes in “The Irishman”, he’s got his work cut out for him.
• I’m a little disappointed that Duvall really gets nothing to do as Tom Hagen in this one. No wonder he didn’t want to do the third one.
• It must have been great for Pacino to watch his former acting teacher Strasberg have to practice what he preached.
• How come they didn’t translate “paisan” on the subtitles?
• I’m glad things worked out for Signora Colombo and her landlord. I hope this means a bright future for her son.
• Among the actors playing senators in the committee are B-movie producer Roger Corman and author Richard Matheson, who wrote the “Twilight Zone” episode “Nightmare at 20,000 Feet”.
• Senator Geary says that the Mafia hearings are not “a slur upon the great Italian people.” Sure, but it didn’t help either.
• Always great to see Diane Keaton in a performance before she became self-parody.
• The Oscars managed to include three of this film’s actors in the Best Supporting Actor category, but couldn’t find room for John Cazale’s iconic and heartbreaking work as Fredo? Where’s the justice in that, I ask you?
• The film’s final flashback is pretty great, and also quite emotional since it brings several characters back from the dead. It’s a shame Brando didn’t show up for this one.

Legacy

• Although content with the two films being halves of a larger whole, Coppola did finally relent and make a third one in 1990, calling it an epilogue to the original two. Most people call it the Fredo of the bunch.

• This film, of all things, led to more sequels having the number in their title, as opposed to “Son of” or “Revenge of” or “Beneath the”.
• Everyone who says “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer”, or “I knew it was you. You broke my heart.”
• Don Homer

• This interesting reference on Seinfeld.

• While not De Niro’s first film, it did propel him into the mainstream and to one day play straight man to Ben Stiller.